


Text Me If You Need Me

by Helpmelearntofly (orphan_account)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura and Lance are Siblings, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Cat shelter, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, M/M, Multi, Strangers to Lovers, Texting, they get kitties
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-02-01 09:23:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12701991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Helpmelearntofly
Summary: LoverBoy: hey alluraLoverBoy: allura quickLoverBoy: ALLURA PLSSpacePrincess: WHATLoverBoy: can you get me coffee? the cute barista is on his shift and i cant and wont go down thereEDIT: this was written before shiro was revealed to be a gay man





	1. Of Phone Numbers and Blushing Pictures

**Author's Note:**

> Lance=LoverBoy  
> Allura=SpacePrincess  
> Hunk=Hunkucles  
> Pidge=Gremlin  
> Shiro=HoneyNutShirios  
> Keith=AsianNico  
> Matt=LeanMeanPastaMachine  
> Nyma=ThingOne  
> Rolo=ThingTwo  
> Shay=CrystalQueen  
> Coran=ProbablyUrUncle  
> More will be added soon

(12:08)  
LoverBoy: hey allura  
LoverBoy: allura quick  
LoverBoy: ALLURA PLS  
SpacePrincess: WHAT  
LoverBoy: can you get me coffee? the cute barista is on his shift and i cant and wont go down there  
(1:46)  
LoverBoy: i feel no love in this chilly's toniht  
(1:58)  
SpacePrincess: sorry, distracted. I might've ordered the wrong thing? and got cute barista's number ;)  
LoverBoy: WHICH ONE  
LoverBoy: GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BEAUTIFUL MULLET MAN  
SpacePrincess: calm down. loser. i got the other ones  
LoverBoy: Shiro? dudeee how old is he?? he looks so srotng  
SpacePrincess: back off! and come ge your coffee, its getting cold  
SpacePrincess: also, i got two free muffins so get ur ass over here before i eat both of them  
LoverBoy: coming, darling  
(3:12)  
LoverBoy: ok but how did you do it?  
LoverBoy: ak out mr hottie  
SpacePrincess: i said "ur cute and i like you" adn he blushed and i asked for his number?  
SpacePrincess: mullet boi gave him a high five  
LoverBoy: GOD HES SO CUTE  
LoverBoy: please tell me you have a pic of him  
SpacePrincess: (1 attachment)  
SpacePrincess: Dont ever tell them i got this pic pls and thank  
LoverBoy: HES SO CUTE ALLURA LOOK AT HIM ADN HIS SMIE ADN HIS EYES IM SO GAY  
SpacePrincess: aren;t you in class?  
LoverBoy: aren't yuo at work?  
LoverBoy: and,,, as soemoenwith an english minor, you should really look at your spelling dude  
SpacePrincess: ok but yours is worse so stfu  
LoverBoy: touche... but im not studying the langauge  
SpacePrincess: lance youo failed spanish..... and u speak it  
LoverBoy: class started; gtg  
(3:48)  
LoverBoy: how extra would it be if i went and got a job there?  
Hunkucles: ????  
LoverBoy: at mr perfects job  
Hunkucles: broooooo  
Hunkucles: you can barely TALK to him without gayly exploding  
LoverBoy: ur point?  
Hunkucles: I'm giving you a week before you regret it  
LoverBoy: mmhmhm  
LoverBoy: i already applied  
Hunkucles: did u get it?  
Loverboy: intervuew on thrusday, should i tell Aly yet?  
Hunkucles: i thought she alredady knew?  
LoverBoy: no??? she would nevr let me live it down??  
Hunkucles: i already told pidge  
LoverBoy: f uc k  
Hunkucles: language dude  
LoverBoy: :p  
LoverBoy: guess i should tell allura  
LoverBoy: ALS O LOOK WHAT SHE SENT ME  
LoverBoy: (1 attachment)  
Hunkucles: dude  
Hunkucles: dudee  
Hunkucles: oh kmy god dude  
LoverBoy: DUDE I KNOW HS SO CUTE  
Hunkucles: no dude  
Hunkucles: i mean yeah sure but DUDE  
Hunkucles: I think that dude next to him is shrio  
Hunkucles: Shiro*  
LoverBoy: yeh thats his name  
LoverBoy: hoe do you know him?  
Hunkucles: pidge's lab artner  
LoverBoy: IM GONNA BE SCIk  
(4:28)  
Gremlin: so i heard the news  
Gremlin: so is he the cutie ur crushig on bc i can tottally put you on  
LoverBoy: no but they work toegther  
LoverBoy: PESE DONT ASK  
Gremlin: ihave his numebr  
LoverBoy: so does aly  
Gremlin: shes straight??? wtf  
LoverBoy: pan as heck  
LoverBoy: i wouldnt be related to a hettie  
Gremlin: HAHA tell her to join the dark side  
LoverBoy: no,,, shes tryna get shiro fam  
Gremlin: ooooh shoudl i ask him  
LoverBoy: I will literalluy jump off a cliff if yuodo  
Gremlin: okay okay buttt we shouuld all have a lil meetup  
Gremlin: whos teh cutie? maybe theyre close  
LoverBoy: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: he  
Gremlin: his  
Gremlin: lance you can t be serious  
LoverBoy: WHATS WRONG WITH HIM  
Gremlin:..... his HAIR  
LoverBoy: i know its os ugy but his smile and eyes nd jawline  
Gremlin: gross  
LoverBoy: ;P


	2. Of Coffee Dates and Sibling Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gremlin: so u havent textedme yet and im assuming you forgot you had my number  
> SpacePrincess: new phone who dis  
> Gremlin: the person whos gonna help yu meet your future husand  
> SpacePrincess: was it lance or hunk?  
> Gremlin: it was actually shiro  
> SpacePrincess: id ont believe you   
> Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
> SpacePrincess: OHMY GOD

(5:08)  
Gremlin: Im bored and havs no classes or hw wtf  
HoneyNutShirios: 1) language 2) ur ignoring something and u know it 3) im at work still  
Gremlin: anything exciting?  
HoneyNutShirios: yh the love o fmy life asked me out  
Gremlin: preety girl?   
HoneyNutShirios: yess  
Gremlin: r u gonna date her  
HoneyNutShirios: i wanna maryy her  
Gremlin: waht do you even know about her?  
HoneyNutShirios: shes talll, works out, SHE HAS SILVER HAIr, and she has a brother who makes her buy him coffee and she hates iy  
Gremlin: nicee lmao  
Gremlin: work out buddy  
Gremlin: too bad she ahtes coffee so keith is gonna hate her  
HoneyNutShirios: hes still cut off so dont give him any caffiene  
Gremlin: no promises. gtg, class  
HoneyNutShirios: good luck kiddo  
(5:23)  
Gremlin: so u havent textedme yet and im assuming you forgot you had my number  
SpacePrincess: new phone who dis  
Gremlin: the person whos gonna help yu meet your future husand  
SpacePrincess: was it lance or hunk?  
Gremlin: it was actually shiro  
SpacePrincess: id ont believe you   
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
SpacePrincess: OHMY GOD  
SpacePrincess: ask him if he thinks im cool  
Gremlin: already know the answere  
Gremlin: its no.  
SpacePrincess: pidge I will buy you anything you desire  
Gremlin: i do not desire material possesios  
SpacePrincess: you can work part time at teh shelter  
Gremlin: hmmm...  
Gremlin: why part tiem?  
SpacePrincess: lance is taking part time too  
SpacePrincess: hours dont matter as long as you do 20-30 hours a week  
SpacePrincess: no overtime tho bc mr. smyth wil kill me  
Gremlin: he s ur uncle  
SpacePrincess: from dads side  
Gremlin: u right  
Gremlin: wiat but whyis lance art time? thougt he was fullt ime  
SpacePrincess: job offer somewhere  
Gremlin: whrer??  
SpacePrincess: fuck if i know  
SpacePrincess: DOES HE HATE SWEARING BC I DO THAT A OT  
Gremlin: i kow and no  
Gremlin: brb; prof is her  
(5:39)  
Gremlin: what job offer?  
LoverBoy: jfc i thought i could trut hunk  
Gremlin: oh u can  
Gremlin: allura on the other hand...  
LoverBoy: UGH  
Gremlin: so waht job offer  
LoverBoy: coffee shop ;)  
Gremlin: U DID NOY   
LoverBoy: got an interbiew in a few days  
Gremlin: im gonna tell shirp to make keith do it  
LoverBoy: ill quit ont ehs pot and then take up extra shifts at the shelter and youll never ever work there  
Gremlin: allura already promised  
LoverBoy: im the fav sibling tho  
Gremlin: did he ever actaully say  
LoverBoy: coran loves me n aly in very differt, distinct ways and i love him   
Gremlin: hes the gay uncel of course you would  
Gremlin: anyways  
Gremllin: what hours are you gonna take up?  
LoverBoy: looking for 8-1 b c i haveno classes an d keiths in there from 9-12  
Gremlin: he talesthe night shift too  
LoverBoy: ? how know??  
Gremlin: amazing grammar  
Gremlin: i saw him there duringfinal season  
LoverBoy: fuck di you know what time??  
Gremlin: nope! shoudl i ask?  
LoverBoy: NOOO  
(6:20)  
SpacePrincess: Hey! It's Allura, the girl from the coffee shop. I was wondering if you were busy on Saturday? My brother's busy that day so there's no on to entertain me :(  
(6:21)   
HoneyNutShirios: (1 attachment)  
HoneyNutShirios: IM GONNA DIE KEITH IM DYING RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW  
AsianNico: holy shit haha dude respond  
HoneyNutShirios: should i say yes?? DO you mind??  
AsianNico: go right ahead  
HoneyNutShirios: ok im gonna say "That sounds wonderful! What time owuld you like to meet up? And where?"  
AsianNico: you sound sooo old   
AsianNico: they grow up so fast  
HoneyNutShirios: should i say it???  
AsianNico: yessir  
HoneyNutShirios: ok. get back to work  
AsianNico: yessir  
(6:26)  
HoneyNutShirios: That sounds lovely! Where? And what time? I'm excited to see you ;)  
(6:26)  
SpacePrincess: LANCE  
SpacePrincess: (1 attachment)  
SpacePrincess: DO YOU HEAR TH WEDDING BELS A RINING  
LoverBoy: djjhgoiudj omfg  
LoverBoy:i wanna be the best man  
SpacePrincess: what should i say  
LoverBoy: a church, at 12, bring a tux and have ur vows prepared  
SpacePrincess: Im disowning u  
LoverBoy: good luck  
SpacePrincess: no but seriosulu  
LoverBoy: Likewise ;p I was thinking around 3. Maybe we could go for a hike or perhaps catch a movie and have a nice dinner date  
SpacePrincess: ILY  
SpacePrincess: i onest had no idea what i was gonna tel him?? I was like shit i thought he would be busy and it world be awk  
LoverBoy: ask him if keith's taking his sjift or if rolo is bc i was gonna g ostudy   
SpacePrincess: no can do, sorry bud  
(6:30)  
SpacePrincess: Likewise! I was thinking around 3. Maybe we could go for a hike or perhaps catch a movie and have a nice dinner somewhere nearby  
HoneyNutShirios: I'm down to do whatever you like as long as I'm with you  
SpacePrincess: Awesome! I'll let you know when I see what the weather's like  
HoneyNutShirios: I'll be waiting for your call  
(6:32)  
HoneyNutShirios: keith  
HoneyNutShirios: keith  
HoneyNutShirios: keith  
HoneyNutShirios: keith  
HoneyNutShirios: keith  
HoneyNutShirios: keith  
HoneyNutShirios: keith  
AsianNico: WHAT  
HoneyNutShirios: keith  
HoneyNutShirios: keith  
HoneyNutShirios: keith  
HoneyNutShirios: ph hi  
AsianNico: whats wrong?  
HoneyNutShirios: do you think you can take over my shift on saturday? or ask rolo? or nyma? or like... shay? pls   
AsianNico: nyma said she'll do it for overtime  
HoneyNutShirios: ok just ask shay  
AsianNico: she said, and I quote, "anything for the light of my life"  
HoneyNutShirios: i love you guys  
HoneyNutShirios: wait what did rolo say?  
AsianNico: dont think your virgin eyes wanna read it  
HoneyNutShirios: okay wow but can you hep shay out? shes still pretty new  
Asianico: what if i had a hot date too?  
HoneyNutShirios: but you dont so  
AsianNico: i mean i dont disagree but i dont like ur tone  
HoneyNutShirios: u still love me litle bro  
AsianNico: sadly  
(7:13)  
Gay, Gayy N Gayer  
Gremlin: we still on for our cofee daye on sat or am i gonna have to llive without coffee for a few more dayd  
Hunkucles: all up to lance, as always  
LoverBoy: uhhh yeah but if hes working no nes allwed to ay anythigng  
Gremlin: but like what if i wann b ehis friend  
LoverBoy: u hae pplt  
Hunkucles: + then youll have to talk to him and be his friend  
Gremlin: smh i can be a goodo socialabel person  
LoverBoy: the only reason we're friends is bc we grew up togeter so we know ho to deal with ur shit  
Gremlin: ok but ive made frend s  
LoverBoy: lab partners and classmaes dont count   
Hunkucles: dpends but yeah ^  
Gremlin: whateverr  
Gremlin: Am i gettig my coffe orno  
LoverBoy: yh  
Hunkucles: yes  
Gremlin: nice  
(7:25)  
SpacePrincess: la  
SpacePrincess: lanceth  
SpacePrincess: lance  
SpacePrincess: lancey  
SpacePrincess: lancey lance  
LoverBoy: what i i was busy  
SpacePrincess: sucks to suck now com eon dwn before dad chews me out for nto reminding you  
LoverBoy: which dad?  
SpacePrincess: that joke got old very son dude  
LoverBoy: i like the "whcih mom" one beetr  
SpacePrincess: you have five minutes to enter these doors before all four of our parents come to fight you   
LoverBoy: fineeeee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so my idea for how Lance and Allura are related: Allura was born from her canon parents (alfor and his wife) and when allura was like 3, they broke up bc they were on the low both gay so alfor met lance's dad and their moms met. they decided it would be bad for Allura to grow up in a split household so they ended up all living together and then Lance's parents were like yo... we like raising this kid can we have another? But Allura's parents were like why don’t you two have a kid that way both of them are like OUR kids, both sets of parents. And so Lance was born when Allura was 5. This sounds so messy but they all ended up falling in love and they just decided to continue living together. Lance and Alllura don’t really mind bc they look pretty similar anyways and they love each other to death. Maybe I’ll go ahead and explain Keith and Shiro later?


	3. Of Jobs and Schemes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay, Gayy N Gayer  
> LoverBoy: i fnayone brings me coffee and a muffin i will let you take hpome a kitty

(7:32)  
Gay, Gayy N Gayer  
LoverBoy: i fnayone brings me coffee and a muffin i will let you take hpome a kitty  
Gremlin: How ong have you been on you shfit?  
LoverBoy: aprox. 2 minuts and 30 seconds  
Gremlin: why do you need help?  
LoverBoy: i have to feed 30 kittie sn ad bathe 15 dogs  
Gremlin: be there in ten  
LoverBoy: coffee?  
Gremlin: shoould i ask keith fo rhs number too?  
LoverBoy: shut up iwdhskj  
(7:39)  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
LoverBoy: HES O CUTE OH Y GOD I ALMOST DROPPED A KTTY  
Gremlin: do that again adn ill cut u  
LoverBoy: do uou have another oneee  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: hes humming wqhilehe works?? cute  
LoverBoy: im goona fucking amryy him  
Gremlin: ur so gay dude  
Gremlin: shrps here lmao  
LoverBoy: send pic to ally  
(7:41)  
Gremlin: (1 attachment))  
SpacePrincess: WHEEEEEZEEEE  
SpacePrincess: pidge pls  
SpacePrincess: pidge plss  
SpacePrincess: pidgeon por favor  
Gremlin: yes theres more  
SpacePrincess: SNE DM ETHEM  
Gremlin: (4 attachments)  
SpacePrincess: odly sht im dying  
Gremlin: do you want me to say hi?  
SpacePrincess: NO IM GONNA GO THERE GUV M E TWO NINUTES STALL HIM  
(7:45)  
Gremlin: gonna be late; aly wanted something  
LoverBoy: that bicch  
(7:48)  
Kitten Protectors  
LoverBoy: so u two are just gonna do me ike that  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: look at shiro lmaoo hes literlyu red  
LoverBoy: sen de bae pics  
Gremlin: (2 attachments)  
SpacePrincess: yall pls shut up im tryna shoot my shot  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: WE CAN TELL  
Gremlin: OOOHS SHE BLUSHING  
SpacePrincess: its a hike date ;)  
LoverBoy: nice  
LoverBoy: now my cfee?  
Gremlin: suhfkafuy  
SpacePrincess: kauuf LANCe  
Gremlin: LANCEL YOUR EGONNA DIE  
LoverBoy: wahat hwat hwta what what what what  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
LoverBoy: is  
LoverBoy: are they FUCKING hguging  
SpacePrincess: apparnetly theyre roomamet??  
Gremlin: what if they used to adte  
LoverBoy: peladse shut ip adn bring me my coffee iant feel my fucking hands  
(7:52)  
Gremlin: Lance ily  
LoverBoy: why the heckie doodle can i hear your voice but not seeeyou feeding the kittens  
Gremlin: alys showing me teh new kittie s  
Gremlin: cme get you r coffe  
LoverBoy: i liiiiiiiiiiiive t osuferr  
Gremlin: suck it up  
(12:11)  
AsianNico: I cant feel a single fuking thing  
HoneyNutShirios: language  
AsianNico: Ive passed all levels of fuck to give, forgive me father  
HoneyNutShirios: did you end up closing again?  
AsianNico: yeah.  
HoneyNutShirios: It's sunday. You have an 8 am on monday  
AsianNico: technically speaking, i have an 8 am in 7 hours adn like 45 mins  
HoneyNutShirios: are you going to sleep or are you going to do homework until 3 am and i have to take your shit away?  
AsainNico: sleep. after my lecture, im going to hit the gym  
HoneyNutShirios: when's your shift?  
AsianNico: rolo told me hell take the morning sooo 12-5  
HoneyNutShirios: oh thank god  
HoneyNutShirios: take care of shay  
AsianNico: yessir  
AsianNico: do you think you can tell Matt that I cant go on our trip thrusday?  
HoneyNutShirios: oh bro there's an interview that day so i aready dipped  
AsianNico: fuck lmao  
HoneyNutShirios: language  
AsianNico: hes our best friend  
HoneyNutShirios: should i text his sister and tell them maybe we hsould do it another day?  
AsianNico: do it onthe gc so they both know  
HoneyNutShirios: can you prentedn you dont know im going to skip too and make it seem like a mistake? I dont wanna hurt their feelings  
AsianNico: gotcha  
(12:29)  
Sibling Gang  
AsianNico: hey guys! I have an 8 am in afew hours and then hit the gym and then work. and my schedule all day after that is super busy and like, a week. Do you guys mind changing our movie on thursday to like friday or monday?  
Gremlin: uhm due why didnt yo tell me earlier i had plans all day  
Gremlin: do you work trhsuday nc I'll jsut go hang ot there  
HoneyNutShirios: there's an interview on thursday so I'm going to be busy at around 1-3 so, i cant go either  
Gremlin: dde wtf  
MeanLeanPastaMachine: I'm down fo r satruay  
Gremlin: shir has a date that day  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: HE WHAT  
HoneyNutShirios: sorry buddy  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: okay wow i was the only one unaware  
LeanMeanPastaMachie: just because i go to a different college  
HoneyNutShirios: you can always get a job near us and then we'll see you often  
Gremlin: m gettig a parttime at the shelter nae the shop if yo u eanna try to get allura to get you a job  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: whos allura  
Gremlin: shirso gf  
HoneyNutShirios: legit talked to her like four times please  
AsianNico: how od you know her?  
Gremlin: shes my best frineds sister  
AsianNico: the o ethat loes coffee but hates waiting in lines?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: why am i so disconnected withe veryone  
HoneyNutShirios: you can work at the shop with us if you want to o  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: okay well gn losers, i have hw and im tired  
(1:17)  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: i have you all figuredout  
Gremlin: scaryyy  
Gremlin: how longdo you think it'll take them all to know  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: ok so on a friend standpoint, where should i work?  
Gremlin: lanc eis taking two part times so you should try to do the same  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: cool cool so when th fuck a i gonna doschool  
Gremlin: u right lmao we'll figure it out  
Gremlin: WIAT U NICTH  
LenMeanPastaMachine: idiott  
Gremlin: when are you graudatin?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: mya 12th  
Gremlin: how mch do you wann bet that they/ll be dating by the,  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: keith and lance or allura and shiro??  
Gremlin: Allura and Shro ill get togtehr but keitha dn lance wll just be friends  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: i idagree and think the apposotie soss youre on  
Gremlin: SIX MONTHS TO GET TWO COUPLESTOGETER SAY WASSUP ITCH  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: so if they both get toegther who wins?  
Gremlin: shoudl we add more ppl to hte bet?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: so u think we can get shay and hunk and..?  
Gremlin: gt the job adn youll see the oter wto  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: so like, ur on  
Gremlin: see u soon bro  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: ily sibling


	4. Of Interviews and Bets

(2:45)  
Gay, Gayy N Gayer  
LoverBoy: im goan shit myself  
Gremlin: why why why whyw   
LoverBoy: e sheer im in the breakroom andhe s o break im gonna NUT NT  
Gremlin: im gonna text him  
LoverBoy: UR GONN W HAT  
Gremlin: doing itt  
LoverBoy: im gonna de  
(2:48)  
Gremlin: hey  
AsianNico: hey?  
Gremlin: are you on break  
AsianNico: yeah why?  
Gremlin: so ur in the bbreakroom  
AsianNico: correct  
Gremlin: so whos the intervieee  
AsianNico: some dude  
Gremlin: he cute?  
AsianNico: thought you were a lesbian?  
Gremlin: yh and ur gay  
AsianNico: uhm i guess he’s my type  
AsianNico: he your friend?  
Gremlin: shiro told me about him  
AsianNico: ah   
(2:52)  
Gay, Gayy N Gayer  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
LoverBoy: I GOAN DIE AND THSI SIW MY DEATHBED  
Hunkucles: tahst not nice pidge  
Gremlin: he had like five minutes toll his interview hes fine  
LoverBoy: shiros here what fuiskahf k i gudss im leaving  
LoverBoy: (1 attachment)   
LoverBoy: shit hes cute  
(3:50)  
LoverBoy: Allura  
LoverBoy: Allura  
LoverBoy: Allura  
LoverBoy: Allura  
LoverBoy: Allura  
LoverBoy: Allura  
SpacePrincess: WAHT  
LoverBoy: Allura  
LoverBoy: Allura  
LoverBoy: Allura  
LoverBoy: Allura  
LoverBoy: Allura  
LoverBoy: i go thr ejob   
SpacePrincess: oh shit ha  
LoverBoy: think ill get free coffe?  
SpacePrincess: as k keith  
LoverBoy: oh my god   
(4:00)  
Squad  
LoverBoy: i got the job  
Gremlin: FUCK YEAh  
Hunkucles: dude great!  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: try to get me a job there or maybeat theshelter ily forver xoxo gtg to class  
LoverBoy: why the heck and fuck does he have to be so terse give m elove  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: Lance you’re the best boy ever and Im so proud, i love you forever and always and I knew you would get the job. I must go to class so i shall leave but know that i’ll never be more proud.  
LoverBoy: ily  
Gremlin: he was nevr that proud of em  
LoverBoy: sucks to suck  
SpacePrincess: now you can snd me shiro pics and i can lst afterhim from afar  
LoverBoy: aaadn there goes all my happpiness  
LoverBoy: matthew if i get you the job will you givemme all th e love snd affection in the world/  
Gremlin: he aid yh and stop distracting him, hes in class  
LoverBoy: technically yaht was all you  
Hunkucles: i feel kida jealous wtf fake best feind  
(4:20)  
Gremlin: haha blaze it  
AsianNico: two times in one day? What are you up to, demon?  
Gremlin: mat wanst a job there   
AsianNico: ok im sodown he doesnt even need an interview PLEASE TELL HIM IM SO TIRD  
Gremlin: all those typos are surd an indication of how tires yo are  
AsainNico: im rotting inside and out  
Gremlin: so like do you think you can come over tonight and watch the new ep of cryptid hunters or no?  
AsianNico: o idea but i’ll try  
Gremlin: let me know by 6  
AsianNico: will do. Hopefully my replacement s good at something  
(4:56)  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: ur cheating  
Gremlin: no?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: yes???  
Gremlin: do better to make allura adn shiro a couple  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: dad will hear about al this cheating and deciet   
Gremlin: best of luck xoxo


	5. Of Bets and Groupchats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mami: where the hell are my kids  
> Mom: language, mi amor  
> Papi: let her swear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mom=Mira Brown (Allura's birth mom)  
> Dad=Alfor Altea (Allura's birth dad)  
> Mami= Clara Sanchez (Lance's birth mom)  
> Papi=Evan McClain (Lance's birth dad)

(8:38)  
Parents  
Mami: where the hell are my kids  
Mom: language, mi amor  
Papi: let her swear  
Dad: lance got a new job and allura is at class  
Mom: job? Where?  
Mami: maldito estupido  
Mom: language  
Mami: fucking stupid  
Mom: fair enough  
Papi: lol  
Mom: answer my questions  
Dad: he didnt tell us  
Papi: ask the mini twin  
Mami: pidge?  
Dad: should i add her here?  
Mom: i thought she was a he?  
Mami: no my love she told us that she was born a he but wants to be a she  
Papi: shes so smart why isnt she our child  
Dad: should i add her here or text her separately?   
Mami: i dont care as long as i know where my kids are  
Mom: our kids, clara  
Mami: perdoname mira  
Papi: mira que?  
Dad: that joke got old very fast  
Papi: bet you can relate to it  
Mom: its undeniable that lance is Evan’s kid  
Dad: im hurt and upset   
Papi: sorry my love  
(9:20)  
Parents  
Papi: why is alfor ignoring me  
Dad: the world will never know  
Mami: stop being childish and find out why my kid didnt tell me about his new job  
(Dad has added Gremlin)  
Gremlin: hello  
Dad: where is lance working?  
Gremlin: to get a boyfriend  
Papi: IM SO PROUD  
Mami: explain now  
Mom: everything, even the illegal things  
Dad: wait not that i dont want to scold him  
Gremlin: okay so  
Gremlin: lance had a crush on the barista at the lion’s den across the street and he had allura go get him coffee but allura ended up liking a barista too (a different one) and it turns out im their friend sooo i told lance to get a job there as a joke and he did but he doesnt know that the barista likes him and vice versa. Matthew and I made a bet that keith and lance will date before allura and shiro. Deadline is matt’s graduation which you guys are very openly invited to.   
Dad: lance doesnt have the bals to ask out anyone  
Mami: its true, i raised him  
Dad: and allura would explode. I say neither  
Mami: agreed  
Mom: that’s not true. Allura would totally date him! And lance is a huge flirt. They’ll both date by then  
Papi: ^^ + lance is so implusive  
Gremlin: so, new bet? Hunk=allura, me=lance, evan&clara=neither, alfor&mira= both  
Dad: how much are we betting?  
Gremlin: originally 40  
Papi: ten because you guys added 2 more possiblies so the winner(s) get 20-30, right?  
Gremlin: got it. By may 12th.   
Gremlin: good bye and good luck  
(Gremlin has left Parents)  
Dad: she was raised well  
Papi: lance would never  
Mami: stop shitting on my child  
Mom: anguage  
Dad: language.  
Papi: watch your mouth  
Mami: ridiculous. back to work my loves.  
(10:56)  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: their parents are in on it too  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: gr8  
Gremlin: may the best idiot win  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: guess ive alreday won  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: wait  
(11:15)  
Gremlin: I want coffee  
LoverBoy: come get some bich  
Gremlin: willl i get a discousnt  
LoverBoy: if you sing stcik to the status quo   
Gremlin: free if i singall of it and i dont dance  
LoverBoy: all the oower to you fam  
(11:37)  
Squad  
LoverBoy: (1 attachment)  
LoverBoy: im so proud :,)  
Gremlin: hacking ur phone  
LoverBoy: #rude  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: pictured: lance fucking dying when keith talks to him sternly about distracting and disrupting the peace  
SpacePrincess: haha holy shit  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: aye i have a interview for there  
Hunkucles: oh lord allura pls stop them  
Gremlin: i wanna se e how this pays ut  
SpacePrincess: me too,, me too  
LoverBoy: so no one says anythin abt the vid?  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: lance is gonna explode f he gets one more look from keith  
Hunkucles: bless his poro gay heart  
(12:01)  
Gremlin: you lie  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: hmm?  
Gremlin: you didnt need an interview  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: im bored n lying is a natural defense  
Gremlin: so whenis your interview?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: wednesday bc i start working friday  
Gremlin: tell lance  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: wendesday at 4;15  
(12:15)  
Lions Cubs  
AsianNico: why havent we added the new guy?  
CrystalQueen: new guy??  
HoneyNutShirios: yeah, lance. He’ll be helping around 9-12 i think  
ThingTwo: he hot?  
ThingOne: hey!!  
HoneyNutShirios: thats innapproriate  
CrystalQueen: we should add him!!  
AsianNico: provided rolo and nyma will not harrass him  
ThingOne: always on my best behanior for you  
ThingTwo: ^^ yh show us the new meat  
(HoneyNutShirios has added LoverBoy)  
HoneyNutShirios: Hello, Lance. This is a professional group chat with the other baristas, Nyma, Rolo, Shay, Keith and myself. Feel free to talk to us about anything :) that includes any shift changes or ideas for the shop or new drinks  
CrystalQueen: hello!! I’m shay  
ThingOne: I’m Nyma  
ThingTwo: I’m Rolo but you can call me anytime  
AsianNico: I’m Keith  
HoneyNutShirios: Rolo we just talked about behavior  
ThingTwo: hmm?  
(12:23)  
LoverBoy: (1 attachment)   
LoverBoy: H O L y SH I t  
SpacePrincess: osiasalfdhu  
LoverBoy: OI KNOW NOW I HAV KEITHS NUMBER  
SpacePrincess: they grwo up so FAST  
(12:25)  
Lions Cubs  
LoverBoy: lol :) nice to meet you guys! I’m lance, s you already know  
LoverBoy: sorry for any tyos, im kinda working right now  
AsianNico: you’re literally standing right across from me with both hands free yet you still make typos  
LoverBoy: im being attacked  
ThingTwo: i’ll save you ;)  
ThingOne: i see whats going on here.. Im being cheated on  
CrystalQueen: :0  
ThingTwo: sorry babes  
LoverBoy: now hold on a sec who said that  
HoneyNutShirios: pleasse be appropriate we have to have a professional relationship  
ThingTwo: youre one to talk  
AsianNico: okay but he’s new adn youre harassing him  
ThingTwo: hmm…  
(12:35)  
ThingTwo: babe  
ThingOne: rolo.  
ThingTwo: dont be like that  
ThingTwo: i think that keith liks alnce  
ThingOne: thats asuming sexuality and thts rude  
ThingOne: jk ur so right   
ThingTwo: find out if hes gay?? Like suck his dick or smth  
ThingOne: babe, rolo, honey, we’re dating so no but ill flirt w him and then u flirt and see which one he responds to more  
ThingTwo: im so in love w you  
(12:37)  
SpacePrincess: ur awfly quiet  
LoverBoy: i lied abt my crush hes actually rude but its cute im conflicted  
SpacePrincess: do ou wanna tell mom now??   
LoverBoy: after my shift here  
SpacePrincess: best f luck; i got class   
LoverBoy: ilyyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> group chat updates:  
> Gay, Gayy N Gayer= hunk, pidge, lance  
> Kitten Protectors= pidge. allura, lance  
> Squad= pidge, allura, lancce, hunk, matt  
> Parents= mira, evan, alfor, clara  
> Lions Cubs=rolo, shay, lance, keith, nyma, shiro  
> Sibling Gang= keith, pidge, matt, shiro  
> Family= lance, allura, mira, clara, evan, alfor


	6. Of Promotions and Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LoverBoy: i love detah and duing  
> Gremlin: hmwhats wrong  
> LoverBoy: im fucking RIRED

(10:45)  
LoverBoy: i love detah and duing  
Gremlin: hmwhats wrong  
LoverBoy: im fucking RIRED  
Gremlin: why??   
LoverBoy: im always tird??  
Gremlin: gay, tired and h  
LoverBoy: watch what you say  
Gremlin: hungry  
LoverBoy: good girl  
Gremlin: wnat me to go entertain u?  
LoverBoy: im on brak rn but id you wanna come at like 11 then sure  
Gremlin: break?  
Gremlin: Keith is all by himself then!  
LoverBoy: rolo's with him  
Gremlin: hmm  
(10:48)  
Gremlin: hello my sweet sweet emo  
AsianNico: what do you want  
Gremlin: i need help with hw and youre the only one in that class  
AsianNico: lance is on break and i cant just leave rolo by himself  
Gremlin: I'll pay uou  
AsianNico: how much?  
Gremlin: anything u want   
Gremlin: im hoing over there soon anyways to annoy lance  
AsianNico: fine  
(10:52)  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
LoverBoy: im gonna die  
Gremlin: sorry hun  
LoverBoy: pls pls tell me that was like yestersy or smth  
LoverBoy: h olsy shit  
Gremlin: hehe  
(10:53)  
AsianNico: hey im on break  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: thank u i owe u my lie  
AsianNico: thats due next month  
Gremlin: so u havneg done it  
AsianNico: nope  
Gremlin: well shit i guess ur on break for nothing  
(10:55)  
LoverBoy: (3 attachments)  
Gremlin: you're literally stalking him   
LoverBoy: for love  
LoverBoy: my breka is almost over wtf i wamt to talk to him  
LoverBoy: what say??  
Gremlin: suck him off  
LoverBoy: conversation over  
(11:02)   
Gremlin: im coming jn  
Gremlin: i want free coffee tho  
LoverBoy: Waterfalls by TLC  
Gremlin: i hate this family  
(11:07)  
Squad  
LoverBoy: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: this is black mail  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: OB MY HOD  
SpacePrincess: making fhag my ringtone  
Hunkucles: guys thats mean  
Hunkucles: u sound lovely pidge :) you should be a skngier  
Gremlin: i hage all of you  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: LancePiningAfterKeith.jpeg  
LoverBoy: kakek HE ALMSOT SAY TWHAT  
Gremlin: ill swnd it to him. Test me.   
LoverBoy: this is bullying.   
Gremlin: deal with it lmao  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: otp  
Gremlin: oooh  
LoverBoy: u know i have eyes for only u matt ;)  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: mhmmm bet  
SpacePrincess: pay attention to class/work/homework pls kids  
Gremlin: yes mom  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: ys maam  
LoverBoy: will do  
Hunkucles: thank u princess lmao   
SpacePrincess: :)  
(12:15)  
Lions Cubs  
HoneyNutShirios: hello all! I had a meeting with the higher ups and I've been promoted to assistant manager of the cafe! Also, we may have a new employee coming in. His name is Matt. His interview is Thursday at 3:30. Please be mindful that there's an interview that day. Thank you!  
ThingTwo: shit thats my shift lmao  
ThingOne: is he cute?  
AsianNico: watch it  
ThingOne: ooh u like him keithy?  
CrystalQueen: congrats shiro!!! I'm proud! You're a great assistant manager! And I'm excited to meet our new employee. I will be working that shift if all goes according to plan so maybe I'll meet him  
LoverBoy: congrats dude lmao what happened to the other assistant manager??  
LoverBoy: allura's the assistant manger at the shelter  
HoneyNutShirios: that's amazing! Maybe I'll ask her if she has any tips. And Ulaz, our previous assistant manager, was also promoted. Lots of changes are happening!   
ThingTwo: nicee lmao but my question was never answered   
LoverBoy: matts the hottest guy ever   
ThingOne: interesting  
(12:36)  
HoneyNutShirios: hey! I was told by Lance that youre an assistant manager at the shelter you work at. I was wondering what that was all about  
(12:36)   
SpacePrincess: FUCKER  
LoverBoy: oops  
(12:37)  
SpacePrincess: haha yeah! My family runs the store so my dad made my uncle the manager and he made me the assistant manager because it sounds cool. No biggie. It's whatever.   
HoneyNutShirios: that sounds cool! My dad made me assistant manager after my uncle got promoted to manager   
SpacePrincess: nice! Wanna talk more about it over coffee?  
HoneyNutShirios: hmm... i dont know  
SpacePrincess: was our last date really that bad?  
HoneyNutShirios: horrible. But sure!   
SpacePrincess: I'll cross hiking off the list. See you when?  
HoneyNutShirios: I'm free Thursday to Sunday  
SpacePrincess: Friday?  
HoneyNutShirios: sure!   
SpacePrincess: great!  
(12:45)  
SpacePrincess: (1 attachment)  
SpacePrincess: CAN YOU FEEL HE LOVE TONIGHT  
LoverBoy: laomoo nice  
LoverBoy: have funn ;)


	7. Of Songs and Honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gremlin:SLOB ON MY KNOB  
> LoverBoy: LIKE CORN ON THE COB  
> Gremlin: CHECK IN WITH ME  
> LoverBoy: AND DO YOUR JOB  
> Gremlin: LAY ON THE BED  
> LoverBoy: AND GIVE ME HEAD

(11:45)  
The Squad  
Gremlin:SLOB ON MY KNOB  
LoverBoy: LIKE CORN ON THE COB  
Gremlin: CHECK IN WITH ME  
LoverBoy: AND DO YOUR JOB  
Gremlin: LAY ON THE BED  
LoverBoy: AND GIVE ME HEAD  
Gremlin: DONT HAVE TO ASK  
LoverBoy: DONT HAVE TO BEG  
Gremlin: JUICY IS MY NAME  
LoverBoy: SEX IS MY GAME ;)  
Hunkucles: pls for the love of god stop  
Gremlin: LETS CALL THE BOYS  
LoverBoy: LETS RUN A TRAIN  
Gremlin: FIRST FIND A PLACE  
LoverBoy: SECOND FIND A MATE  
Gremlin: THIRD FIND A BAG TO COVER THE WHOLE FACE  
LoverBoy: SQUEEZE ON MY NUT  
Gremlin: ..  
LoverBoy: LICK IN MY BUTT  
LoverBoy: THAT NATURAL CURLY HAIR!  
LoverBoy: PLEASE DONT TOUCH  
Gremlin: I'm so tempted to send a screenshot to Keith  
LoverBoy: friendship terminated  
SpacePrincess: 1) shouldn't you be working 2) what the fuck lance 3) that song was MEANT for YOU 4) do it.  
Hunkucles: everyone who's on pidge's side say aye  
Gremlin: i  
SpacePrincess: aye  
LoverBoy: PLS REFRAIN FROK DOING SO  
Gremlin: is he on break too?  
LoverBoy: incorrect. He's very busy. In fact, he's asking me how much longer before i go back  
Gremlin: bsss! I'm doing it  
(12:04)  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: ;)  
AsianNico: ??  
AsianNico: is that lance? lmao  
Gremlin: mhmmm  
AsianNico: ?? What did he do to piss you off  
Gremlin: you'll understand soon, my boy  
AsianNico: can I work in peace?  
Gremlin: all the power to u fam  
(12:09)  
AsianNico: (1 forwarded attachment)  
AsianNico: what?? Does?? This?? Mean??  
HoneyNutShirios: lolololol  
AsianNico: Shiro.  
HoneyNutShirios: its a song  
AsianNico: no shit. Pidge sent me that.  
HoneyNutShirios: ah. Yes.  
AsianNico: so?  
HoneyNutShirios: so?  
AsianNico: ugh nevermind. Anyways, when's matt starting?  
HoneyNutShirios: two to three days. Why? Sick of taking any and all free shifts?  
AsianNico: i just want a normal schedule so i can do everything i want in a day  
HoneyNutShirios: we never discussed but what time do you want your shirt to be at?  
AsianNico: mornings  
HoneyNutShirios: mm alright. I'll see if Matthew wants to do afternoons or maybe we can move em around. I'm adding Matt after a day or two of working  
AsianNico: okay. Gotta go  
(12:17)  
The Squad  
LoverBoy: hhhgnnn  
LoverBoy: what didnu do pidgeothy  
Gremlin: whatever do you mesn?  
LoverBoy: hes looking at me all weird now  
Gremlin: that natural curly hair ;)))  
Hunkucles: Katie thats not nice at all and you should apologize for inconveniencing Lance like that!  
SpacePrincess: ^^ tho funny, its not nice to fuck w him like that  
Gremlin: its FINE  
Gremlin: didn't know i had snother pair of parents  
Hunkucles: uhm? No??  
Hunkucles: I'm the older, caring brother. Lance is the funny older brother. Allura is the mom. Shiro is te dad. Keith is the in law thats super close w the fam and ur the smaller sib  
LoverBoy: thought shay would be the in law that getd along w the parents  
LoverBoy: my ahnds are shaky ops soz  
Gremlin: shay is def part of the fam  
SpacePrincess: whos tHAT  
LoverBoy: coworker. Takes Rolo's shift around 4-8. Hunk is gonna marry her  
Hunkucles: I have never claimed to like her  
Gremlin: she's perfect for you  
SpacePrincess: if u dont date her, i will  
SpacePrincess: pidge you have ten minutes to get here before i fire you  
Gremlin: on it  
SpacePrincess: lance should be coming soon as well  
LoverBoy: we can discuss shay while hunk isnt around  
SpacePrincess: YES  
Gremlin: perfect  
Hunkucles: i hate this family  
Hunkucles: no i dont. I love u all but please don't tell her anything  
LoverBoy: wouldn't dream of it, angel  
SpacePrincess: ^^  
Gremlin: ^^^^  
(1:15)  
Lion Cubs  
HoneyNutShirios: Hello all! I will be adding Matthew shortly. He's going to be taking up the 12-4 shift, if all goes well, as well as the 10-5 shift on Saturdays. Any questions?  
ThingOne: did u make sure me and my bae dont get to see him at all  
CrystalQueen: you guys are always around the shop! I'm sure we'll all see him and be good friends! I'm excited!! <3  
ThingTwo: thats cute but i wanna see him  
ThingOne: someone send a pic  
LoverBoy: (1 attachment)  
ThingTwo: usnt that just the little girl u always hang around  
ThingOne: no that ones taller  
ThingTwo: is the shorter one a clone  
ThingTwo: can clones be opposite sexes??  
ThingOne: shut up please  
ThingOne: blue looks good on you Lance ;)  
LoverBoy: thanks lol its my fav color  
CrystalQueen: I agree! You look very handsome! And so does Matthew! I know I already said this but I am very excited!  
AsianNico: Matt's really nice, you should be  
LoverBoy: am I nice, Keithy?  
HoneyNutShirios: please be appropriate when speaking in this chat  
AsianNico: no.  
LoverBoy: no him or me?  
AsianNico: you.  
ThingOne: youre nice lance  
ThingTwo: very nice ;)  
LoverBoy: I guess... :/  
HoneyNutShirios: if that's all?  
ThingOne: are you gonna add eye candy number 4?  
ThingTwo: 4?  
ThingOne: shiro 1, keith 2, lance 3, matt 4  
ThingTwo: fair.  
HoneyNutShirios: I will add Matt in a second  
HoneyNutShirios has added LeanMeanPastaMachine  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: hello! I'm Matt!  
CrystalQueen: Hello Matt!!! I'm Shay!  
LoverBoy: Hey ;)  
ThingOne: I'm Nyma  
ThingTwo: I'm Rolo but you can call me anytime  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: hello, anytime. I'm Matthew  
AsianNico: lol hi  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: HEY KEITH!  
AsianNico: Hey  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: HEY LANCE!  
LoverBoy: hello my sweet sweet boy  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: <3  
LoverBoy: no homo  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: course not.  
AsianNico: shiro?  
HoneyNutShirios: please try to behave work appropriately in this chat  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: sir yessir  
ThingOne: so matt how did u finf oht about this job  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: the love of my life  
LoverBoy: aww shucks  
AsianNico: I'm truly insulted that you didn't say me  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: it was both of you ;) no need to argue over me  
LoverBoy: wouldn't dream of it  
AsianNico: are you always this insufferable?  
HoneyNutShirios: and we're done.  
(1:57)  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: (1 attachment)  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: at least they talk?  
Gremlin: omfg XD does keith hate him?? Get ready to eat your words Matt  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: oh ye of little faith  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: i can mke a gc  
Gremlin: >:0  
Gremlin: wont work but by all leans, go ahesd  
(2:03)  
LeanMeanPastaMachine has added ThingOne, ThingTwo, LoverBoy and AsianNico to Hump Me, Fuck me  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: hello all  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: we're gathered here today to talk about the cafe w/o shiro  
ThingTwo: and shay?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: shes too sweet for all this sin  
AsianNico: then why am i here  
ThingOne: ;)  
ThingTwo: interesting  
LoverBoy: probs bc ur the saltiest person ever  
AsianNico: what does that make you?  
LoverBoy: the hottest  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: i cant see myself disagreeing  
LoverBoy: ;)  
ThingTwo: lance what are you  
LoverBoy: an idiot sandwich  
AsianNico: I'll say  
ThingOne: no like sexuality wise  
LoverBoy: why? Wondering if im down for a threesome?  
ThingTwo: told u he'd get it  
ThingOne: please just answer my burning question  
LoverBoy: I'm just getting bi in life  
AsianNico: you misspelled by??  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: Keith pls i dont wanna toast u rn  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: roast***  
LoverBoy: u both played yourselves  
ThingOne: so you're bisexual?  
LoverBoy: yupp. Been all my life.  
ThingTwo: so the threesome is totally not out of the question?  
LoverBoy: sorry. got my eyes set on someone  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: who  
ThingOne: who  
ThingTwo: who  
AsianNico: who?  
LoverBoy: what is this? An interrogaytion?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: give us a hint  
ThingOne: ^  
ThingTwo: ^^  
LoverBoy: their hot  
ThingOne: shiro  
ThingTwo: keith  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: me  
LoverBoy: no, hell no, always babe  
AsianNico: why hell no?  
ThingTwo: yh! Keith's hot  
AsianNico: i dont ever want to read that again  
ThingOne: mmm  
ThingTwo: so why not Keith  
LoverBoy: not my type  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: his type is bad boys  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: which is just like Keith  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: bc keith is bad at everything  
ThingOne: ^  
ThingTwo: ^^^  
AsianNico: no im not  
LoverBoy: yeah Keith's good at stuff  
AsianNico: yeah  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: like what?  
LoverBoy: idk and idc  
ThingOne: mm  
(2:22)  
ThingOne has added LeanMeanPastaMachine to Klance2000  
ThingTwo: so  
ThingOne: they're totally in love right?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: OH THANK GOD U GUYS KNOW  
CrystalQueen: Keith and Lance don't hide their pining. I think it's adorable!  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: even shays in on it?? Nice  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: but yeahhh, they're so in love  
ThingOne: we have to get them together, right?  
ThingTwo: its only fair  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: but how?  
CrystalQueen: I suggested a double date!!  
ThingOne: interesting but he'd catch on  
ThingOne: Keith^  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: better idea. Lance, Keith, Shiro, Allura, Shay, Hunk and u two  
CrystalQueen: Hunk?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: lance's best friend  
CrystalQueen: oh.  
ThingOne: shay has a crushhhh  
ThingTwo: i say he likes her back  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: I'm his friend lolol  
CrystalQueen: oh  
CrystalQueen: OH!!!  
CrystalQueen: is that why we're invited as well?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: the more people the less suspicious  
ThingOne: ^  
ThingTwo: ^^  
CrystalQueen: alright. Well, text us your plan when you have it all ready.  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: will do  
(2:46)  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: ah yes hunk and shay  
Gremlin: i call it  
Gremlin: get ready  
Gremlin: HUNAY!  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: like honey?  
Gremlin: yes. Pure, sweet honey  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: nice nice  
Gremlin: mini bet between us?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: shoot  
Gremlin: hunay will start dating before klance  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: pfftttt  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: nah  
Gremlin: knew youd be against it  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: hunk is shy!! So is shay!!!  
Gremlin: deal?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: deal.  
Gremlin: pleasure doing business w you  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: like wise


	8. Of Kittens and Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ThingOne: we should organize an outing  
> LeanMeanPastaMachine: dude yes  
> LoverBoy: fick yah  
> ThingTwo: that sounds awesome  
> AsianNico: why?

(3:47)  
Lion Cubs  
ThingOne: we should organize an outing  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: dude yes  
LoverBoy: fick yah  
ThingTwo: that sounds awesome  
AsianNico: why?  
HoneyNutShirios: that sounds like an amazing team bonding experience. do you have any plans?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: bowlig  
LoverBoy: pls volunteer ata the animal shelter tis weksend  
LoverBoy: fnals have started and i keep gettknbg yelled at for doing hw uring y shifts  
LoverBoy: pELAs  
HoneyNutShirios: we can find a way to help you, Lance. it's our job as your coworkers to make sure you are comfortable.  
ThingOne: yeahhhh  
LoverBoy: thanksk. i haebb a bunch of ianls and im stressed  
LoverBoy: so sorry for typos  
LoverBoy: brbr sorry  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: i'll miss you my love <3  
LoverBoy: gay but ily <3  
ThingOne: ily2  
ThingOne: ILY3  
CrystalQueen: I love you as well Lance! And I am excited about the work outing.  
HoneyNutShirios: I'll see if we can close up on Saturday so we don't have to work and I'll ask Allura if she would like to have us help that day.  
AsianNico: nice  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: allura would love that actually shes been complaining about how we dont get enough volnteers  
AsianNico: really? I've been meaning to ask if that was allowed. Pidge told me that the kittens are sweet  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: oh dude yes when are you free? our shifts all start at around 5 today  
AsianNico: I'll be there by 5:01  
LoverBoy: my shift starts at 4 wtf allura  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: ha ha ha  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: want me there earlier so i can help out?  
LoverBoy: i love you so fucking much  
HoneyNutShirios: language.  
(4:03)  
SpacePrincess has added Hunkucles and LeanMeanPastaMachine to Kitten Protectors  
Gremlin: kitty pics?  
LoverBoy: (5 attachments)  
LoverBoy: in order: blue, red, yellow, green and black  
Hunkucles: not to be a wet blanket but why did we make a second gc with all the same people?  
Gremlin: this is just for kitty pics and for volunteers that frequent a lot  
LoverBoy: im quitting  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: red likes keith a lot  
SpacePrincess: how funny that red likes keith and he also likes lance AND blue  
SpacePrincess: and blue os lance's baby  
LoverBoy: WUITITNG  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: i wanna add keith so we can all send kitty pics  
Gremlin: do it  
SpacePrincess: do it  
Hunkucles: sorry Lance  
LoverBoy: cnancelled sorry too late  
Gremlin has added AsianNco  
Gremlin: kitty pic gc  
AsianNico: so i've been told  
SpacePrincess: (1 attachment)  
SpacePrincess: lance says that blue has his eyes  
LoverBoy: 1) worst pic ever thanks and 2) SHE IS MY BBY AND WE HAVE THE SAME EYES  
LoverBoy: (1 attachment)  
LoverBoy: look how beautiful she looks next to daddy  
Gremlin: daddy  
Hunkucles: daddy  
SpacePrincess: daddy  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: daddy  
AsianNico: ?  
LoverBoy: (1 attachment)  
LoverBoy: my babygirl has the most beautiful fur  
Gremlin: i see green inthe back  
LoverBoy: shes beng a BRAt like someone else i know  
Gremlin: she is an angel and you wish blue was as talented as her  
Hunkucles: yellow is te best kitty  
SpacePrincess: continue to pit my kitties against each other and youre all fired  
SpacePrincess: get to work.  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: the best kitty is orange  
SpacePrincess: matt you will be fired. plus, we all know pink i sthe best  
LoverBoy: biased ass bitch  
SpacePrincess: keep talking bitch watch what happens  
LoverBoy: last time you said that i rememebr very clealy you begging for me to stop the prank wars  
SpacePrincess: you have te minutes to clean all the bunnies before i tell papi you dont do shit  
Gremlin: your dad loves me dont wrry lance i got you  
LoverBoy: ten minutes for three bunnies wtf  
AsianNico: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: saving that and pposting it on his fb  
Hunkucles: thats mean, Keith sent that vid of him running around so we could see, not show the world  
SpacePrincess: ill post it for you  
Hunkucles: allura.  
SpacePrincess: all jokes, hunkie boo.  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: spam much?  
(5:06)  
Gremlin: im not too ate right?  
SpacePrincess: ur so fired  
Gremlin: bettt bet bet bet  
LoverBoy: papi said yore never coming back  
Gremlin: yore  
Gemlin: vore  
SpacePrincess: no  
Hunkucles: no  
AsianNico: no  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: keithw at  
LoverBoy: keith knows all about vore ;)  
Gremlin: we dont care what yall do  
AsianNico: what?  
LoverBoy: (11 attachments)  
LoverBoy: kitties!  
(6:45)  
The Squad  
LoverBoy: okay confessiona  
Gremlin: ears open  
SpacePrincess: yes, brothe rdear?  
Hunkucles: go ahead ance!  
LoverBoy: i think i have a crush on keith  
LoverBoy: before you say anythig  
Gremlin: we been knewing  
SpacePrincess: ^^^  
LoverBoy: like,,, i like like keith  
LoverBoy: like im gonna mrry him  
Gremlin: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm  
(7:24)  
Kitten Protectors  
SpacePrincess: Lotor brought in a cat today  
LoverBoy: oh boy  
Hunkucles: you good fam?  
Gremlin: at least shes alive  
SpacePrincess: ses actually v well and nice and he didnt get on my nerves  
SpacePrincess: appartanly her name is Kova and shes blind and belongs to his blind friend and he was v nervous smth was up  
LoverBoy: oh sick  
LoverBoy: what does she look like?  
SpacePrincess: (1 attachment)  
SpacePrincess: i wouldve gone with gray s a name but guess not  
LoverBoy: her eyes are so pretttyyy  
Gremlin: ur just a lil bitch for anyone with blurple eyes  
Hunkucles: blurple?  
SpacePrincess: blue and purple  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: hey i know osmeone like that  
Gremlin: auxia or smth like that?  
Hunkucles: and lotor has like gray blurple  
SpacePrincess: half our parents too  
AsianNico: i have blurple eyes kinda  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: well would u look at that  
LoverBoy: gtg study, thanks for kova pics. im gonna cuddle her so hard when i meet her


	9. Secrets and Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HoneyNutShirios: Hey, Allura!   
> SpacePrincess: Hello gorgeous ;)

(11:34)  
HoneyNutShirios: Hey, Allura!   
SpacePrincess: Hello gorgeous ;)  
HoneyNutShirios: I have a quick question regarding your brother, Lance. Do you mind me asking?  
SpacePrincess: Oh, of course. I love spilling tea on the idiot. What's up?  
HoneyNutShirios: I'm asking as Keith's brother, not Lance's boss  
SpacePrincess: Cryptic  
HoneyNutShirios: Does Lance like Keith?  
SpacePrincess: You should be asking Lance, not me. That's none of my business. Especially because he just found out and it's hilarious  
HoneyNutShirios: Wait was that a yes?  
SpacePrincess: BRB, classes  
(12:09)  
SpacePrincess: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: uasidlfjkcganoidjlkl;hxzx IM HAVING A STROLE CLL THE AMBALACE  
SpacePrincess: perish.  
SpacePrincess: ic ant ebleive my boyfriend texted me asking if our brothers are in love when its clear as ay  
Gremlin: aoidslhfk;alkhfdsoih CNA I SHOW A FEW FRIENDS PL S ILL PAY YOU   
SpacePrincess: careful now  
SpacePrincess: he' still my brother and I will en you if yuo hurt him  
Gremlin: aye aye   
(1:04)  
Gremlin: broher dear  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: sister dear   
Gremlin: (1 forwarded attachment)   
Gremlin: mmmmmm i guess i have to sabatoge the boys  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: I have a plan for hunay, sister dea  
Gremlin: we still have a few months   
LeanMeanPastaMachine: i dont need months  
Gremlin: hunay hasnt even met yet adn shiro and allura are still friends sooo ur slowly running out of time  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: hm we have about 5 ish months and you think that lance's horniness wont win over both hunk and allura's anxiety? ok  
(1:11)  
Klance2000  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: (1 forwarded attachment)  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: look what allura sent me  
ThingOne: SHIRO KNOWS  
ThingTwo: KLJFDSAFSLH UMMMMMMMMMMMM SHIRO HAS A GF?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: not yet  
CrystalQueen: Shiro seems good for her <3  
ThingOne: hope I can marry both of them in the future  
ThingTwo: ^  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: ^^  
(!:48)  
Kitten Protectors  
LoverBoy: Loturd is coming to pick up Kova today  
SpacePrincess: is he bringing Auxia? She's a hottie  
Gremlin: FRICK YEAH SHE IS WOWOW  
LoverBoy: all of his friends are hot?? why did they let an ugly lead them  
Hunkucles: they're not that hot :/  
LoverBoy: spaking of hunk and hot ;)))))  
LoverBoy: Allura and Hunk should come bowling w us so we can make it a ncie group think  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: yes. allura. and hunk.  
Gremlin: brother dear  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: sister dear  
(2:03)  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)   
Gremlin: why does lance love cats so much??  
AsianNico: aww  
SpacePrincess: .....  
Gremlin: ...  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: ....  
Hunkucles: .....  
LoverBoy: keith??  
AsianNico: yes?  
Gremlin: "aee"???  
AsianNico: the kitty is so cute  
AsianNico: or am I wrong?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: not just the kitty  
LoverBoy: blocked  
SpacePrincess: *ALREADY TAKING NOTES*  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)   
Gremlin: Lance_is_dying.png  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: hes so frkn ugly  
LoverBoy: matthewis a BULLY?? HOMOPHONIC??  
SpacePrincess: ha gay  
Gremlin: ha gay  
(2:16)  
Hunkucles: lance i want coffee  
LoverBoy: oh worm me too  
LoverBoy: allura get me cofeee  
SpacePrincess: you loteraly work at the coffee shop asshole  
LoverBoy: mami will skin me if i leave  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: i can ask shay to come in and distact them lol shes been dying to come in and see al the kitties  
AsianNico: no invite? ok  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: shay can invite you  
Hunkucles: shay?  
Gremlin: ;)  
SpacePrincess: ;)  
LoverBoy: ;)  
Hunkucles: lance no  
LoverBoy: LANCE YES  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: lance go get ur bf his coffee  
Hunkucles: thanks best friend numba 2  
Gremlin: blocked and reported  
(2:32)  
AsianNico: (3 attachments)  
AsianNico: lance got everyone a drink   
SpacePrincess: finally  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: shay and hunk sitting in a tree  
LoverBoy: hey what was the name of that one girl who adopted firestorm?  
Gremlin: hacking into your laptop and exposing all the porn you watch  
LoverBoy: i'd gladly share   
Gremlin: gross  
SpacePrincess: ^^^^^^^^ PLS I DONT WANA IMAGINE YOU JACKING OFF WE LIVE TOGETHR ASSHOLES  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: i honesly dont hink id mind seeing him   
LoverBoy: ;))))   
AsianNico: same lol  
Gremlin: OOOOOOOOOOH MY GODDDDDDD  
SpacePrincess: DIUFHLKJASDHJGHSLDDVJKIERGFV IM DYING PLS LORD MAKE IT QUICK  
Hunkucles: why   
LeanMeanPastaMachine: (2 attachments)  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: blushy bois  
AsianNico: Shiro said he'll be over soon to talk to Allura  
Gremlin: GOD CAN TOAY GET ANY BETTER  
LoverBoy: i could die.  
SpacePrincess: ^^  
Hunkucles: ^^^^^^^^  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: losers  
(2:56)  
LeanMeanPastaMachine added ThingOne and ThingTwo to GAY AND TIRED  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: okay so lance, ketih, hun, shay, allura and shiro are all together  
ThingOne: send all the videos ever  
ThingTwo: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: will do  
(3:12)  
Parents  
Mami: why are there so many children in my shop  
Papi: ask lance  
Dad: which one's his little boyfriend?  
Dad: I saw Allura's boyfriend and she has such a good taste  
Mom: gets it from someone ;)  
Mami: who  
Papi: who  
Dad: who  
Mom: none of us  
Dad: false  
Dad: if I was there age? oof  
Papi: I'm going to start working out fuck you  
Mom: language  
Mami: okay so since no one answered my question I asked Lance and he said he doesn;t know but he wanted to introduce me to his """""Friend"""""""  
Dad: and?  
Mami: and, alfor, it was HIS BOYFRIENd  
Mom: i bet  
Dad: why is my husband ignoring me   
Mom: i can talk to him  
Mami: i can yell at him  
Dad: ugh   
Dad: love is HARD  
(4:20)  
LoverBoy: oh ha  
Dad: nice  
LoverBoy: can we talk?  
Dad: of course son  
LoverBoy: make this obvious and I'm telling papi to not talk to you for a week  
Dad: harsh and noted  
LoverBoy: 3 oclock, black hair and a black shirt  
Dad: got it.  
LoverBoy: I like him  
Dad: ha  
Dad: gay  
LoverBoy: THAnks   
LoverBoy: youre the first i told  
Dad: before Mira?  
LoverBoy: Mira a que?  
Dad: dumbass  
(4:32)  
LoverBoy: 6 oclock w a black shirt  
Mami: whats his name?  
LoverBoy: keith  
Mami: am i allowed to talk to him or will i get yelled at?  
LoverBoy: not about me   
Mami: how old is Shiro?  
LoverBoy: like 23? he's my boss  
Mami: i know  
(4:34)  
LoverBoy: carefully  
Papi: si  
LoverBoy: 1 oclock   
Papi: stands gay lol  
LoverBoy: so you approve?  
Papi: mami told me instantly  
LoverBoy: oh my god does mom know  
Papi: not to my knowledge  
(4:35)  
LoverBoy: im assuming you were otld?  
Mom: what  
LoverBoy: the kid in my lap  
Mom: you two are sleeping together?   
Mom: his ass looks almost as flat as yours please tell me he tops  
LoverBoy: MOM  
(4:37)  
The Squad  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)   
LoverBoy: pls nerv show keith that  
SpacePrincess: psa: that happened bc mom told lance she hopes keith tops  
Gremlin: FSKLHDLUKHJ   
(4:42)  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: hunay has sailed  
Gremlin: WHAT HOW  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: i like my big bucks bitch  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: cant do that 9-5 shit haaa  
Gremlin: we still got klance and uhhh shallura  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: lance;s parents are gonna ruin it lmao keith looks miserble now that lance left  
Gremlin: they latched to shiro :,)


	10. Of Parents and Embarassments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AsianNico: You're late  
> LoverBoy: missing me?  
> AsianNico: in your dreams, McClain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you might be thinking "Hey, Kimmy, its been like... Far Too Long. Where was this chapter?" To which I say I have depression and I just moved 700 miles away from home SO this fic has been delayed a bit. Also, I was nervous because i planned 10 chapters and i knew that wasnt happening so i'll end it when i want to.

(10:06)  
AsianNico: You're late  
LoverBoy: missing me?  
AsianNico: in your dreams, McClain.  
LoverBoy: harsh, kogane. I thought i was finally getting through that tough exterior you got going on  
AsianNico: yeah i though i was getting through the annoying exterior you got going on but i soon realized it was just your personality  
LoverBoy: KSDAJJKLAHLGSJKJIUHASBCNZ this is HOMOPHOBIC  
AsianNico: yes. I am definitely homophonic, Lance. Get your flat ass over here before Shiro bursts a blood vessel  
LoverBoy: do a lot of ass staring, Kogane?  
(11:37)  
Kitten Protectors  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: Slaps My Own Ass  
Gremlin: WHO THE FUC K IS THAT  
LeanMeanPastamachine: thats nyma u lesbian  
Gremlin: and the girl she's flirting with?  
LoverBoy: That's Plaxum  
Hunkucles: that's her????????????  
SpacePrincess: oh my my my  
Gremlin: am i missing something here??  
Hunkucles: plax was dating allura and then they had a falling out and then her and lance had a thing but they also had a falling out :/  
LoverBoy: falling out isnt the word i would use  
SpacePrincess: shes very sweet and did it w such grace  
SpacePrincess: we're still friends  
LoverBoy: we stayed friends  
LoverBoy: JINX  
SpacePrincess: I hate u specifically  
Gremlin: So what im hearing is she's single and has a thing for dumbasses??  
AsianNico: Hey, Allura isn't dumb  
LoverBoy: And neither is Lance. Finished your sentence for u buddy  
AsianNico: ah you were so close but that wasn't it  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: anyone w two eyes and a brain know that lance is smart  
Hunkucles: matt be gay for MY best friend somewhere else  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: MY best friend is very smart and i love him??  
Hunkucles: u just wanna fuck himmm  
LoverBoy: all u gotta do is ask mattie poo  
Gremlin: Lance im blocking you  
Gremlin: anyways back to me and my life  
LoverBoy: kin  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: kin  
SpacePrincess: kin  
Hunkucles: kin  
Gremlin: i know im op but kin  
AsianNico: ??  
Gremlin: i want a GIRLFRIEND  
LoverBoy: oh worm?  
SpacePrincess: oh worm?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: you both CAN NOT possibly relate to that  
Hunkucles: yeah you both have bfs  
LoverBoy: falsehood  
SpacePrincess: only in my dreams  
AsianNico: shiro hasn't asked you out yet??  
SpacePrincess: alas, i am still single and LATE FOR CLASS BYE  
LoverBoy: sometimes i feel like she uses 'cclass' as an excuse to not face the truth  
Gremlin: the truth being my gay ass wants to talk to Plaxum  
LoverBoy: i could get you her number  
Gremlin: finally some use! I knew you could do it lance  
LoverBoy: ASDFGHJKL???? I'm so usefullll??  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: we know lance  
LoverBoy: i would die for you matt ily  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: ily more  
AsianNico: are yall dating?  
(12:48)  
Kitten Protectors  
Gremlin: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: we found lance crying covered in kittens??  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: its been fifteen minutes and all he talks about is "dating"  
Hunkucles: lmaoooooooooo dm me pics  
Hunkucles: side eyes emoji  
AsianNico: im guessing it was me?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: lol we're not together but I WISH  
Gremlin: so we're just gonna ignore middle school??  
Hunkucles: yes.  
SpacePrincess: yea.  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: yES.  
AsianNico: what happened in middle school?  
Gremlin: matt and lance 'got married' because they were best friends and wanted to be together forever  
Hunkucles: a homophobic teacher broke poor matthew's heart  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: i was like eleven and no one warned me that some people arent okay w gay  
SpacePrincess: i mean we all came out gay and like our parents are very gay so  
Hunkucles: yeah I have two moms and for the first few years of my life i thought i was the only boy in the world  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: TAHTS SO CUTE OH MY GOD WTF HUNK IM GONNA MARRY YOu  
Gremlin: this is why people think youre dating everyone matt  
LoverBoy: wait wait wait  
LoverBoy: me and Matt ARENT dating?? rude  
SpacePrincess: lance are you actually gonna date him?  
Hunkucles: if you guys break up or have a fight ill have to pick a side and I'm not doing that  
Gremlin: ill rip ur dick off mcclain  
LoverBoy: u wont get plaxs number then  
Gremlin: allura??  
SpacePrincess: hurt my bro and there will be blood shed  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: sooooo thats a No on datig  
LoverBoy: if im not w someone when im 32, can we get marrie?  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: ailhsfdkj YES PLEASE  
Gremlin: now that we got that gay ass mess out o the way  
Gremlin: i wanna dat ehr  
SpacePrincess: we should add her here!!!!!!!!!!!!  
LoverBoy: yeahhh she loves cats!!  
(1:06)  
LoverBoy: hey! wanna be added to a gc about cats?  
ActualMermaid: oh sure!! also hi!  
(!:07)  
LoverBoy has added ActualMermaid to Kitten Protectors  
LoverBoy: say hi everyone!  
SpacePrincess: hey Plaxie!  
Hunkucles: hello!  
LeanMeanPastaMachine: hey ;)  
ActualMermaid: Hi Lura!! Hi Hunk! Hi Matt!  
Gremlin: hey  
ActualMermaid: hi! who are you?  
Gremlin: I'm Pidge, Matt's younger sister and Hunk' best friend  
ActualMermaid: Hello Pidge!  
AsianNico: hey I'm keith  
ActualMermaid: hello Keith!  
ActualMermaid: I was promised kitties?  
LoverBoy: (11 attachments)  
Gremlin: (5 attachments)  
SpacePrincess: (3 attachments)  
ActualMermaid: is that from the shelter?  
Gremlin: yeah lol we all work there part time  
AsianNico: besides me and Hunk  
Hunkucles: I basically work there considering I do more than lance ://  
LoverBoy: beTRAYED by my BEST FRIEND  
ActualMermaid: i dont think its too hard to believe  
LoverBoy: heart br o k n  
SpacePrincess: loserrr  
(2:36)  
Gremlin: im bored  
Hunkucles: cry me a table??  
Gremlin: fuck u chad  
Hunkucles: bite me veronica  
Gremlin: in your dreams troy  
Hunkucles: as if becca  
Gremlin: [another rude insult followed by a mediocre white name]  
Hunkucles: oh same  
Gremlin: in all seriousness im BORE Sna dinwant a gf  
Gremlin: lance. is. here  
Hunkucles: I'm @ the shelter w Keith if you wanna come  
Hunkucles: Coran told us to go to some sketchy shop to get some weird and very specific hair dye?? For 'his dog'???  
Gremlin: which one?  
Hunkucles: he calls his dog the castle wtf  
Gremlin: thats peak weird uncle behavior:// wish that was me  
Hunkucles: youll never be the weed uncle :// always the vodka aunt  
Gremlin: maybe plax can be my flower wife :/  
Hunkucles: sude thats so gay and valid but UH keith is actually like funny and smart??  
Hunkucles: i see what lance sees in him lol he's pretty rad  
Gremlin: gay gasp  
Gremlin: a crush?  
Hunkucles: hardly lol  
Hunkucles: i think i like that cute barista from the cafe  
Gremlin: called IT  
Hunkucles: Brb, something weir dis hkong on??  
Gremlin: dont die bc of keith pls  
(3:02)  
Gremlin: ok i wanna text her but HOW  
LoverBoy: ???? Ajjsjs what  
Gremlin: jajakd i wanna text jajsj a girl isjs vsry gaylyjsj but HOW?  
LoverBoy: oh sisjsjjd she's pretty cool sksjsj you guys should go on a daye ksksk to the aquarium or the beach or something dhjdj shes really passionate about marine life isksk  
Gremlin: i just ask her oht on a date??? Wtf  
LoverBoy: ywah?? A friend fate??  
Gremlin: hnmmmmmm  
(3:23)  
Gremlin: how do I aks out a GURL  
SpacePrincess: say "hey wanna go out and hang out and get to know each kther? Ive geard grrat things about you and id like to get to know you as a person" also why does soxial anxiety exist  
Gremlin: ur a life saver  
Gremlin: why are you anxious?  
SpacePrincess: piblxi spealing Class is sukcing ass rn  
Gremlin: :// wanna crash at my place for tea and netflix?  
SpacePrincess: yeah give me twenty minutes ans im bringing altea w me  
Gremlin: okay!! I love her!! Good good kitty. A+ motor  
SpacePrincess: you better be talking to plax when i get there  
Gremlin: igh  
(3:56)  
Gremlin: Hey! It's Pidge.  
ActualMermaid: hey pidge!! What's up?  
Gremlin: I've heard a lot of good things about you and I wanted to get to know you a little better. Do you want to grab some coffee and maybe take a stroll around the beach? Or we can stop by an aquarium, if you want  
ActualMermaid: that sounds lovely!! When?  
Gremlin: how does friday sound?  
ActualMermaid: good! I can pick you up and we can go to an aquarium I've been dying to visit! No one wants to go with me because they're tired of the 'same four fishes' :(  
Gremlin: I'll gladly go with you! You can probably find me at the cafe before 2 and then at the shelter until 8. Just send a text and I'll tell you  
ActualMermaid: amazing!! Thank you!! See you then!!  
(4:03)  
The Squad  
Gremin: (1 attachment)  
Gremlin: IM GETYING A GIRLFFRIEN DITS OVER FOR ALL OF YALL  
LoverBoy: so so porud  
Hunkucles: yay!!  
SpacePrincess: all thanks to my help lolol (in exchange for help w my classes lol)  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Pidge gets a gf. I need her to be happy in life, kay? Kay. Also, Pidge is the Anxiety friend and she helps everyone when they're not Okay bc she knows it sucks and she suffers from anxiety so she helps anyone and everyone and youll have to rip that hc away from my cold gay hands


End file.
